Category Archives: Personal development

Grab a cup of tea and let’s talk about mental health

Jess Glynne inspiring me to write about mental health

Last year, it was This is me, I make no apologies song that inspired me for #timetotalkday. This year my inspiration is Jess Glynne’s song ‘Thursday’. Although it is a love song, some of the words struck a chord with me and seemed apt.

Often clients who have had time off work for anxiety, stress or depression, worry about returning to work. ‘What will people think of me?’ they ask me? ‘What will my colleagues say?’ ‘No-one will understand’? The stigma of mental health is something they fear. The importance of Time to Talk is to create conversation and discussion. This will help stop the stigma around mental health. Stop the fears that my clients and others who suffer from poor mental health.

I’m sick of covering up

Jess’s second line of the song says ‘I’m sick of covering up’. That is what #Timetotalk is saying. Let’s stop covering mental health up. Let’s talk.  We don’t need to hide or be ashamed if we have a mental health problem.

Jess’s second line of the song says ‘I’m sick of covering up’. That is what #Timetotalk is saying. Let’s stop covering mental health up. Let’s talk.  We don’t need to hide or be ashamed if we have a mental health problem.

I’m tired of feeling so broken

‘I’m tired of feeling so broken’ continues in the song.  Yes, those suffering mental health problems are exhausted from feeling broken. Many want to move on but don’t know how too or feel afraid too. It is isolating as people as people that they feel they are the only ones broken or depressed. Talking about mental health and their struggles, would help stop people feeling isolated. This can be achieved through talking to friends, sharing on social media or through a qualified counsellor.

‘I wanna love, I don’t wanna cry, don’t want those tears inside my eyes’

Jess’s song continues. Often clients who come to counselling sit embarrassed by their tears or will announce they will not cry today. They see tears as a sign of weakness. It is not. Crying is an emotion. Sometimes you cannot stop the tears falling. The emotions need to come out. Perhaps it comes from our childhood trying not to cry in front of others. I remember as a child being told to wipe away my tears or being called ‘cry baby’.  How shameful is that? In fact, all I just wanted was a hug and a chance to talk. So where is this going? Well, maybe next time you see someone crying, why not sit with them, and ask if there is anything you can do for them. Show them empathy.

‘I try to embrace all my insecurities’.

 Insecurities can cause highly emotional responses, and make us feel bad about ourselves. This in turn causes a lot of mental stress or anguish.  Embrace your insecurities and try to tackle them one by one. Notice it when feel an insecurity. Rather than react to it (for example, run away or ignore it) try to tackle it. Feel it. Look at where it comes from and think how you can change or build upon it. Don’t beat yourself up. Try to put positive words into your head and be rational. 

‘I was always taught to just be myself. Don’t change for anyone.

How inspirational these words in the song are? It important to have the confidence to be yourself. Believe in yourself. If you are going to change, only do it because you want too. If you notice a behaviour in yourself that does not help or makes you feel bad, then change it. Only make changes because you want to. It is helps you be happier. Remember to do it at your own pace. 

The song ends ‘I wanna to feel beautiful’. Yes! Learn to love yourself. Feel positive about who you are, and grow from your mistakes. Don’t struggle.

How would you continue the conversation of talking about mental health? #timetotalk

Therapeutic Journal – Journey to knowing yourself

Why write a therapeutic journal?

Therapeutic journal

 

Therapeutic journal is aimed at helping you, the writer, to understand yourself better. It can take you on a journey where you discover the ‘real’ you. It can help you to start understand how your think. It can help you learn to feel your emotions. It can help you unpick your problems. Through your therapeutic journey you can learn how to tackle your issues head-one. Continue reading

6 ways to move on from bad news

6 ways to move on from bad newsWe’ve all been there. Being let down at the last minute or receiving news that is upsetting. How do you cope and move on from bad news?

I thought I would use my recent example of being let down by our builder to show you useful ways of moving on. Continue reading

What I’ve learned after 100 blog posts

 

I’ve done it. I’ve reached one hundred blog posts.

I have been writing in this blog for five years. It has taken me on a professional journey I did not imagine it would take me, and has helped improve my reflective writing.

So:

  • how did I get here, and;
  • what I have I learned along the way?

Continue reading

Motivations to being a counsellor

Motivations to being a counsellor

When I first began my counselling diploma at Sheffield Hallam University in 2003, I never knew how much I would be more aware of myself or how it would change my thinking or who it would affect the way I interact with my peers, friends and colleagues. I did not imagine that becoming a counsellor Continue reading

Building a positive relationship between supervisor and supervisee

Positive Supervisee Relationship

A positive relationship between supervisor and supervisee is important. Millar, Holloway and Henderson (2014) say that encouragement is at the heart of a counselling supervisory relationship. They emphasise the need to build an equal relationship. So how is a positive relationship between supervisor and supervisee achieved?

Maintaining ethics

A contract between the counsellor and supervisor Continue reading

Learning from our mistakes

learning from our mistakesThis morning I was running late with Radio 2 playing in my car. Right Said Fred were playing Johnny Cash’s version of Ring of Fire live but unfortunately the lead singer, Fred, forgot the words. Not once but twice! As a listener it didn’t matter to me. However, I did wonder how Fred felt. He was laughing but considering there are over 7 million listeners Continue reading

Writing Clinical Will as a Counsellor

Putting off writing a clinical will

Writing Clinical will as a counsellorCreating and writing a clinical will has been something I’ve always intended to write but never got round to doing it.  Every week, I’m guilty of always transferring ‘writing my clinical will’ onto my weekly ‘to do’ list. However, a colleague, Roslyn Byfield, Continue reading

New Year… Positive Changes rather than Resolutions

Broken resolutions

Positive changes in New YearI’m sure we can all think about New Year’s resolutions that we have made and broken.  I know that I can think of some!  Making new resolutions is often about changing our bad habits or becoming fitter. For example I often hear New Year resolutions of people stopping smoking or drinking Continue reading

Never say ‘the end’ to friendships

never say the end to friendshipsToday on the Chris Evans show, Chris was joined by Rev. Richard Coles and Jimmy Somerville. The two former ‘’Communards’ Band members were there for separate reasons. Jimmy was there to share his music while Richard was there to lead ‘Pause for Thought’. Richard Coles talked about friendships that have crashed and burned and how we should look back at them without anger and resentment. Continue reading