Birds have anxiety

A new acquisition in our therapy room that I rent from cornerstone has been the book All birds have anxiety by Kathy Hoopmann. This anxiety book is there for clients to browse at. All birds have anxiety is aimed at children but I feel it is an useful and fun read for anyone experiencing anxiety or wanting to find out what anxiety is all about. It is written in an easy to understand language with just the right empathy and even with some humour.

If your child is suffering from anxiety, its important to start a conversation with your child about stress and anxiety. A great way to start this is through a book. Birds have anxiety so why can’t we?

The book clearly is a guide to help children understand what it means to have anxiety. Sometimes anxiety is good if it helps us achieve our goals but when anxiety stops us doing things on a day to day basis, we need to find coping strateiges to try to help control the anxiety. The anxiety coping techniques touches upon some useful CBT techniques but in a friendly approachable way – cuddling a pet, eating well and exercise.

As you can see from the picture of on the right each page is full of bright and beautiful pictures of bird. These natural birds are photographed in what can appear as an anxious state to help illustrate what it feels like when we’re anxious.

The author, Katty, then cleverly uses captions of words to go alongside these pictures. It is a book that can encourage a child to talk about anxiety and to help them understand any of their friends who experience anxiety too.

 


Heres some feedback from clients and friends children:

It helps me understand that I am not alone, one client recently commented to me, and helps me reflect when my anxiety is a problem to stopping me doing things.’

I was struck by the pictures and related phrases to certain birds. The owl says anxiety is not my fault and it will not rule me. The bird with spikey hairs says it isn’t the end of the world if i make mistakes’

A humouous way to explain anxiety. I need a pet to hug!

Other books which can help children overcome anxiety are:

For Young children

What to do when you worry too much – A kids guide to overcome anxiety
Cool cats, calm kids by Mary Williams
Wilma Jean the worry machine by Juilia cook

And a helpful video for young children

For teenagers
Stress 101
Anxiety sucks
Anxiety survival guide for teenagers
A still quiet place for teens

Hazel has moved

Hazel has moved to 59 Wostenholme Road….

In February this year, Hazel moved her counselling practice from Wainwright Thearpy Centre to 59 Wosteholme Road. Hazel has stayed in Sheffield and remains in Netheredge (S7).

The beginning…

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Building a positive relationship between supervisor and supervisee

Positive Supervisee Relationship

A positive relationship between supervisor and supervisee is important. Millar, Holloway and Henderson (2014) say that encouragement is at the heart of a counselling supervisory relationship. They emphasise the need to build an equal relationship. So how is a positive relationship between supervisor and supervisee achieved?

Maintaining ethics

A contract between the counsellor and supervisor is essential. Not only does it ensure boundaries are kept but enables a solid working alliance between the supervisor and supervisee. A contract should be underpinned by an ethical framework, such as the BACP framework. This allows the supervisee to explore freely their fears and reflections on their work. Additionally it encourages the supervisor to reflect in-depth on whether they are maintaining a balance between taking appropriate responsibility for the supervisees work and the clients well being. Alongside this supervisors need to question themselves to whether they are competent to supervise the work. The ethical framework encourages good practice on both sides.

Working partnership

A cooperative working partnership is essential. It enables the supervisee to inspire to be the best counsellor and ensure the supervisor guides the counsellor to reflect rather than ‘police’ the supervisees’ work. Yes, the supervisor will have more experience but she/he must not show inferiority or superiority or it will destroy the balance of the relationship. It is not helpful for the supervisor to always say ‘this is how I do things’. Supervisors need to encourage supervisees to expose themselves to problematic issues to allow them to work their own way forward and to reflect on how they are doing. A supervisee does not want to be compared with their supervisors work or be told what to do. They want and need an equal professional relationship. This needs honesty on both sides. Both parties need to feel free to say how they are doing in their work (especially if it exposes vulnerabilities) and how they feel about the supervisory relationship. Challenges from both sides need to be embraced as an opportunity to grow rather than being seen as a criticism.

Explore and Reflect

Exploration and enabling the supervisee to explore what is going on is an important part of supervision. It is tempting as supervisor to respond with our own theories, interpretations and answers. However, supervisors need to encourage supervisees to explore and gain insight by asking respectful and leading questions. This helps supervisees conclude on their own to how they are doing and what they could do more effectively. Often questions that focus on past experiences, including positive ones can help encourage a new perspective.

Feedback……

can be helpful for a supervisee. Supervisors need to support the supervisee to have the courage to be imperfect. Honest, encouraging feedback will help educate and develop the supervisee. When we trained as counsellors we learnt about constructive feedback – always sandwich bad comments in between good ones. Supervisors need to do the same – highlight the counsellors strengths before presenting areas for development and change. When feeding back the negative, supervisors need to focus on what the person is doing rather than comparing or criticising. In other words avoiding words such as ‘unethical’, ‘non-empathetic’. Descriptive feedback allows the supervisee to see what they have been doing. It is always better to ask a supervisee if they would like to hear what your own views. Remember you want to keep the relationship equal.

Encouragement

Supervisors need to encourage the supervisee to assess their competencies and effectiveness. However, in addition they need to reflect on their own effectiveness. There needs to be opportunity for feedback on both sides. Also supervisors can reflect in their own supervision, as well as develop their own professional development.

A supervisory relationship needs to grow.

As Millar, Holloway and Henderson say…. We all have tendencies to move into judging and defensive positions at times, and we all make mistakes. When we can embrace these moments with compassion, it is gratifying to realise that they offer great opportunities for professional growth.

Anthea Millar, Jim Holloway, Penny Henderson ‘Becoming an encouraging Supervisor, Private Practice BACP, Spring 2014

Miller, Holloway & Henderson Practical Supervisor Helping Professions

Hazel is an experienced supervisor and presently has a free slot available for online supervision. Ring or text 07814 363855 for more details.

Learning from our mistakes

learning from our mistakesThis morning I was running late with Radio 2 playing in my car. Right Said Fred were playing Johnny Cash’s version of Ring of Fire live but unfortunately the lead singer, Fred, forgot the words. Not once but twice! As a listener it didn’t matter to me. However, I did wonder how Fred felt. He was laughing but considering there are over 7 million listeners Continue reading

Help, my Mum and Dad are toxic and causing too much pain. How do I let go?

Help, my Mum and Dad are toxic and causing too much pain. How do I let go?

Help Mum and Dad are toxicClients often battle over society’s pressure that you must look after their parents versus the fact their Mum and Dad is toxic and malicious and causing them too much pain. The guilt of this keeps them maintaining a relationship with your parents, even if it draining to them. This in turn causes them Continue reading

Changes in Counselling Profession

I have seen various developments and changes within counselling profession over the last 15 years. More courses are available, British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) membership has vastly increased and more counsellors are becoming private practitioners.  Counsellors and organisations have to market themselves and approach their counselling work with a business head. Online Continue reading

Walk and Talk Therapy

Walk and talk therapyWalk and Talk Therapy

Walk and talk therapy or walking therapy is becoming more popular. Not only do I have more clients requesting sessions but I also receive emails from other trained counsellors asking me questions about my Walk and Talk. I therefore thought it would be useful to write a second blog post for counsellors on how I incorporate walking therapy into my practice.

Do you need formal training to offer Walk And Talk?

I received no formal training in offering walk and talk therapy. Of course, I am a trained, Accredited BACP counsellor with over 13 years experience ! I have been providing walking therapy for over 4 years. I attended a one day Ecotherapy course in Derbyshire. This course was useful as gave me time to Continue reading