Tag Archives: self awareness

Embrace change or resist it?


Do you struggle with change? Are you aware of your own reactions to changes? Do you resist change?

Sound familiar?

What is it that makes us resist change? Often fear of the unknown, feeling overwhelmed or denial that change needs to happen or a lack of trust of those bringing about the change.

Change brings about different reactions within us and even irrational behaviour. Therefore a common first instinct is to resist the change.

How can we deal with change?

When change happens, it is useful to reflect on our inner resistance to change. If we have a deeper understanding of ourselves, it will help us understand how our inner resistances work and how we generally react to different situations. By learning more about ourselves and our reactions we can adapt to different situations and learn to cope with them.

A strong sense of self-awareness will help you to take personal reasonability and stay more in control. It is up to you how you chose to react to each situation. Learning how to manage change more effectively will help you to be better equipped and more positive when it change happens to you.

Positive ways to make changes

  1. Embrace Change

Change often only happens when we want it too. If you procrastinate, you will be putting of inevitable. The danger is we may be wasting precious time in our lives being unhappy when we could turn it all around by embracing change.

  1. Be open-minded

Your mind works best when it is open. As Frank Zappa says ‘Your mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work, if it isn’t open’. Sometimes we can drag the baggage of the past and superimpose it on to situations without being open-minded and taking a fresh perspective. One thing I hear from clients who resist change is ‘Well we tried that before and it didn’t work’ You need to remember every situation is different, and just because something different work last time, it does not mean it will not work next time. Give it another go with an open mind without the expectation that it will fail.

  1. Prepare your emotions

Accept the fact that you may be emotional during the change process. Change may make you feel unhappy, fearful, insecure, unsettled, frustrated. On the other side of the table, however, you may feel enthusiastic, elated, delighted and excited. Any of those emotions will have an impact on your energy levels so it is really important to prepare yourself.

  1. Relax and go with the flow

Sometimes change happens and we have absolutely no control over it whatsoever. When this happens you have to choose how you are going to respond. If you resist change and remain rigid and inflexible it will be a lot more difficult and even painful. Going with the flow sometimes is the best approach.

  1. Be positive

Having a positive attitude about change is the right mindset to cultivate. If we go into the change situation believing that it is negative then we are more likely to experience negative outcomes. Whilst it is important to understand some of the risks and pitfalls involved it is also important to focus on positive outcomes.

  1. Keep some familiarity in your life.

Understandably changing everything sends people into panic as it threatens to destabilise their world. If you are embarking on a major change, then keep up as many familiar things that feel comfortable to you. This will help remind you that there are things in your life that do not need changing, and how much is in your life that isn’t changing. For example, sticking to same routine or seeing friends you normally see. You can then reassure yourself that not everything has to change just because some things have.

  1. Challenge your perspective

Sometimes the way we view a situation can be very narrow because we are perceiving it through our own filter, and will perhaps benchmark it against our previous experiences. It is important to really examine and look at the situation from all angles. Be careful not to get yourself stuck up a one-way street with your thinking. There is always another angle and another perspective.


As a summary when thinking about change:

  • Understand why the change in your life is happening
  • Actively seek out the opportunities this will bring
  • Be positive and open minded
  • Understand your emotions around change
  • Take responsibility for your reactions and choices.


Do you resist change? Will any of the above tips will help you to adapt to change?

Therapeutic Journal – Journey to knowing yourself

Why write a therapeutic journal?

Therapeutic journal


Therapeutic journal is aimed at helping you, the writer, to understand yourself.. It can take you on a journey where you discover the ‘real’ you. It starts to  help you understand how your think  and learn about your emotions. It can also help you unpick your problems and start seeing a way forward. learning how to tackle your issues head-one. Continue reading

Life experience shaping a counsellor

life experience shaping a counsellorSelf-awareness grows over a period of time and with exploration.  My self-awareness has been shaped by my life experiences, through the help of counselling and through self-reflection.  This has helped me to learn to understand myself, my reactions and understand my own values.  In my early twenties I experienced a traumatic bereavement and I will demonstrate how this life experience shaped me as a counsellor. Continue reading

Assertiveness – Improving your self-awareness

Assertiveness tips.docxBeing Assertive does not mean you have to change your personality and become aggressive, passive or manipulative. Assertiveness is about learning how to be you and expressing yourself in a confident manner. To be able to do this you have to increase your self-awareness by getting to know yourself, learn how to like yourself and to be in charge of the ‘real’ you.

Assertiveness is about effective communication. It is not only about using the right words but ensuring your body language gives the right message. The focal part of assertiveness is positive thinking.  Assertive people, who believe in themselves, use positive language, look for positive outcomes and are positive in their respect for other people’s view. Continue reading

Self-disclosure of a counsellor

self disclosure of counsellorsIn order for a counsellor to remain focused on the client, self-disclosure during a session is not encouraged. Self-disclosure is sharing information with your client that they would not know about you. It is generally felt that self-disclosure of a counsellor may get in the way of the client’s journey. The counsellor’s past and issues, if disclosed to a client, may ruin the trust between the counsellor and the client or it may influence the client in their decision making.

Continue reading

Counselling process and me


counselling processMental stigma often stops people from admitting that they are receiving counselling or have had counselling.  What about if the counsellor admits they had counselling? Is that self-disclosing or reassuring for clients to know that their counsellor has been through the counselling process and believes in his or her heart that counselling can help? This question led me to self-reflect on how the counselling process helped me develop to train as a counsellor and increase my self-awareness with my clients. Continue reading