Feeling lonely at uni?

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Feeling lonely at uni? You are not broken. What helps and how counselling can support you

Cardiff uni Reading the recent BBC piece on student loneliness made me pause and reflect on what I hear so often in the therapy room. Halls, lectures and busy campuses can still feel quiet on the inside. Loneliness at uni is common. It is not a personal failure. It is a human signal that you need more of the right kind of connection.

If your main challenge is social anxiety, I have already written a simple, practical guide for that. Read ‘Starting uni with social anxiety in Sheffield’ here:
https://inyourcommunity.org.uk/2025/10/01/starting-uni-social-anxiety-sheffield/.
The rest of this post focuses on loneliness at Uni.

Why loneliness shows up at uni

  • A whole life change at once. New place, new routines, old supports far away.

  • Plenty of contact but little depth. You can be around people all day and still feel unknown.

  • Comparison. Everyone else looks sorted and confident.

  • Time and energy pressures. Study, work, money or caring roles can crowd out connection.

Small steps that help this week

Choose quality over quantity
Aim for one meaningful micro connection a day. Sit in the same seat and say hello. Ask a classmate what helped with the reading. Invite a flatmate for a ten minute tea.

Build three daily anchors
Get outside once. Move your body for ten to twenty minutes. Share one meal with someone. Anchors steady mood and make connection more likely.

Try low stakes meet ups
Look for give it a go tasters, volunteering with a clear role, or a peer study group. Purposeful contact often feels easier than small talk.

Shape your spaces
Make your room feel more like yours. A small lamp, a blanket, a photo or a plant can help place attachment. Feeling at home in one spot makes it easier to reach out from there.

Tidy your digital diet
Limit late night scrolling. Curate feeds that leave you feeling connected, not less than.

Night support if you need it
Many campuses have Nightline, student run listening services that operate in term time. They offer calm, confidential listening when the day has ended.

When it has been going on for a while

  • Student Minds offer practical tools and signposting tailored to uni life.

  • University counselling and wellbeing services are usually short term and free. Book early.

  • Your GP, campus or local, can help with low mood, sleep and anxiety and can rule out health issues.

How counselling can help with loneliness

I work in an integrative, relational way. That means I fit the work to you. We blend person centred, CBT informed and existential ideas to match what you want from therapy.

What we might focus on together

  • Being deeply understood. Many students say the hardest part of loneliness is feeling invisible. Therapy can offer moments of real contact, the sense of I feel met. Those moments can be healing in themselves and become a base for reconnecting outside sessions.

  • Making a clear map. We map your week, your people and your places, then design small, doable experiments that bring quality contact, not just more social noise.

  • If anxiety is the blocker. For specific social anxiety tools, see my earlier post here: Starting uni with social anxiety in Sheffield.

  • Values and boundaries. Finding your kind of people and a pace that suits your nervous system. You do not have to be the last one at the party to belong.

A ten minute starter plan

  1. Message one person you already know.

  2. Pick one taster session or society to try this week.

  3. Book something supportive. That could be Nightline tonight, Student Minds resources, or counselling.

  4. Set two anchors for tomorrow. Get outside and eat one meal with someone.

  5. Write one kind sentence to yourself before bed.

If you are in distress now

  • Samaritans free and open twenty four seven on 116 123. You do not have to be suicidal to call.

  • Shout text SHOUT to 85258 for free twenty four seven support by text.

  • PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 for under 35s or anyone worried about a young person 0800 068 4141, text 88247.

  • NHS urgent help check how to access same day mental health support in your area.

Working with me

I work with students in Sheffield and online across the UK. We will go at your pace, keep things practical and build the right mix of connection and skills for your life. If you would like to talk, email me to set up an initial session.

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