Today is 
– a gentle reminder of the power of putting pen to paper. In a world full of texts, emails, and quick messages, it can feel old-fashioned to sit down and write a letter. Yet, in therapy, letter writing continues to be one of the most powerful tools for reflection, repair, and healing.
When I first began using letters in my counselling work, I noticed how often clients would surprise themselves by what spilled onto the page. Writing offers a freedom that speaking sometimes doesn’t. Words can flow without interruption, without the pressure of an immediate response. Letters allow us to slow down, notice our feelings, and give shape to what might otherwise stay tangled inside.
The unsent letter
One of the most well-known therapeutic exercises is the unsent letter. These are letters you write but never post. They may be addressed to someone who has hurt you, someone you have lost, or even a part of yourself. Clients often say the unsent letter helps them find words they’ve struggled to voice. There’s relief in seeing emotions expressed on paper – and release in choosing what to do with the letter afterwards. Some keep it, others rip it up or burn it, marking a step towards letting go.
Letters to repair ruptures
Relationships, including those in therapy, sometimes experience ruptures – misunderstandings, silences, or conflicts. Writing a letter can be a safe way of repairing a relationship. In counselling, I sometimes suggest a client writes to a friend, family member, or even to me, to say what feels too difficult to say face to face. These letters are not always sent, but they can help bring clarity, compassion, and a renewed sense of connection.
A letter of self-compassion
Many people find it easier to be kind to others than to themselves. Writing a letter of self-compassion can help turn that kindness inward. This might be a letter to yourself on a difficult day, reminding you of your strengths, or offering comfort in the same way you would to a dear friend. Clients often keep these letters and re-read them when self-criticism feels overwhelming.
Writing to your younger self
Another moving exercise is writing to your younger self. What would you say to the child, teenager, or young adult you once were? Clients often discover a voice of understanding and care when they do this. It can be a way of acknowledging pain, celebrating survival, and offering reassurance that was missing at the time. These letters can feel deeply healing, as they create a bridge between past and present.
Why letters work
Whether posted, kept in a drawer, or torn into tiny pieces, letters allow space for reflection and meaning-making. They give form to feelings, offer a way of repairing what feels broken, and create a record of kindness – to others and to ourselves.
sSo on this Letter Writing Day, perhaps you might try writing one for yourself. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just pick up a pen, start with “Dear…”, and see where your words take you.