Do I need counselling or am I just overreacting?

This is one of the most common questions people sit with before they get in touch.

‘Maybe I’m making a fuss.’
‘Other people have it worse.’
‘I should be able to deal with this myself.’

I hear this a lot.

Reaching out for counselling can feel like a big step. Sometimes, it can feel like admitting something is wrong. So it makes sense that part of you might question whether your feelings are ‘serious enough’.

But here is something I often say to clients.

If it matters to you, it matters.

Where does this feeling come from?

Many of us have learnt, often without realising it, to minimise what we feel.

You might have grown up being told:

• ‘Don’t be so sensitive’
• ‘You’re overthinking it’
• ‘Just get on with it’

Or perhaps there simply wasn’t space for your feelings.

Over time, this can lead to a quiet habit of doubting yourself. So when something is difficult now, instead of thinking ‘this is hard’, you might think:

‘Why can’t I cope?’
‘What’s wrong with me?’

But what actually brings people to counselling?

People don’t usually come because everything has fallen apart. Instead, it is often things that build up over time.

For example:

• feeling anxious a lot of the time
• overthinking and not being able to switch off
• relationship difficulties
• feeling low, flat or stuck
• work stress or burnout
• loss or change that hasn’t quite settled

Sometimes nothing big has happened. However, there is a sense that something isn’t quite right.

How do you know if you need counselling?

There isn’t a strict rule. However, these are often signs that counselling might help.

• You are thinking about the same things over and over
• You feel stuck and cannot move things forward
• Your mood or anxiety is affecting your day-to-day life
• You are finding it hard to talk to people close to you
• You feel alone with it, even if you are not

Or simply this.

You are reading this and wondering.

That, in itself, is often enough.

Maybe you are already asking the question

If you are questioning whether you need counselling, something in you is already noticing that things feel difficult.

You do not need to have the answer before you reach out.

But shouldn’t I just deal with it myself?

Many people feel they should be able to cope on their own.

And yes, we all cope in different ways. Talking to friends, keeping busy, and getting on with things can all help.

However, counselling offers something different.

It is a space that is just for you.
No judgement.
No need to protect anyone else.
No pressure to be a certain way.

Importantly, it is not about being told what to do.

Instead, it is about making sense of what is going on for you, in your own time.

It is not about how bad things are

One of the biggest myths about counselling is that you have to be at crisis point.

But you do not.

In fact, many people come earlier, when things are starting to feel difficult. This can be just as important.

You do not have to wait until things get worse.

A gentle way to think about it

Instead of asking:

‘Is this bad enough?’

You might ask:

‘Would it help to have somewhere to talk about this?’

If you are in Sheffield

If you are based in Sheffield or nearby, I offer counselling from my room in Nether Edge (S7) or online.

You are welcome to get in touch if you are unsure. There is no pressure to commit. We can simply start with a conversation and see if it feels like the right fit.

If you are unsure, you might find it helpful to read more about what happens in a first counselling session.